this morning, after exiting the shower and grabbing some breakfast, i noticed my carton of 18 eggs in the fridge - still full - and decided to boil them. you see, i enjoy a hard-boiled egg or two in the morning every now and again. i placed the eggs in the pot, set the pot to boil, and left the kitchen, intending to dress myself and return promptly. having arranged this type of situation before, and having learned the cardinal rule of boiling foodstuffs - namely, do not leave cooking in process unattended - as a child, i was confident in my ability to return and finish the job, while killing two time-consuming birds with one time-period stone.
so up the stairs i went in order to prepare for the day. i dressed myself. unhappy with my choice, i dressed myself again. i dallied about on the internet. i made a phone call or two. i packed my bags for studying, i ate some breakfast, i dried my hair. i may, perhaps, have forgotten about the eggs on the stove.
when i finished drying my hair, i heard a loud banging noise from downstairs. initially, i thought the noise was coming from some construction outside - but i knew i was wrong when the noise began to grow louder and more frequent. then i thought, ok, my roommate must be packing books and simply dropping them into boxes. however, as her movers will be packing her belongings, this explanation didn't make sense, and given occam's razor, i was most definitely wrong. at this point, one of my cats had decided to go seek out the noise without me. so i thought to myself, right, i will put in some earrings and go downstairs to investigate.
and that's when i smelled the smoke.
so i run down the stairs to find the entire bottom floor thick with smoke, most obviously coming from my pot of eggs on the stove. i check, in horror, for fire - i am most terrified of fire, you see - and much to my delight, i had not burned down the kitchen. however, at this point i notice that my eggs are exploding out of my pot and flying across the kitchen.
THESE EGGS WERE LAUNCHING THEMSELVES OUT OF THE POT. AND LANDING ACROSS THE KITCHEN.
(note that any mental image you have of these airborne eggs is most likely a realistic approximation of the situation - one egg actually did fly in my general direction when i attempted to rescue the pot from what ended up being an inevitable demise.)
i spent the subsequent hour cleaning charred egg rubble off all manner of kitchen surfaces and appliances.
